Alright, here goes…This is in response to your comments and questions about my external changes.
Looking back just a year ago, I was going through a real rough patch. My heath was at a low, my blood sugar and metabolism were a mess, I had very little energy, while at ending a relationship and struggling financially. As a result, I was constantly on the verge of tears.
While I kept it together on the outside, I was experiencing some pretty nasty inner torment about my uncontrollable weight gain and puffiness, bulging veins in my legs and arms and frustrating health problems.
Symptom wise my digestion was a total nightmare, I felt bloated after eating, a heaviness under my right ribcage, poor tolerance to fats, low blood sugar that had me eating frequently to prevent a stress response in my body and of course when your gut is a mess, your brain is usually highly affected as well. Needless to say, there were moments where I felt pretty hopeless.
This may seem hard to believe but I assure you, it happened. This was what I like to think of as my final exam, a culmination of all my past lessons on the relationship with my body. It felt like everything was coming up for healing all at once. In a very real way, the Universe was testing me to see if I was ready to go to the next level of empowerment.
I prayed and prayed for strength and guidance and it came, just when I needed it.
Here’s what changed in my life in the past year:
- I finally let go of a relationship that I had been hanging on to far longer than I should have.
- I surrounded myself with people who inspired and lifted me up.
- I picked up and moved across the country from the heart of downtown Toronto to Victoria, BC where I could live a slower life, surrounded by nature. This change in environment was something my spirit had been guiding me to for a long time, so following through freed up a lot of energy for me.
- I realized that my liver and gallbladder were very congested and was likely the root of my health issues so I committed to a year of monthly liver gallbladder flushes. The results have been profound! This protocol has CHANGED MY LIFE forever and I am only half way through.
- I stopped eating eggs for breakfast, because I discovered they were a big part of my digestive troubles (I’m not saying it’s the same way for everyone, but encourage you to experiment with an open mind).
- I re-committed to following proper food combining and a more Ayurvedic lifestyle which has also had an immeasurable positive impact on my compromised digestive tract.
- I’ve significantly reduced snacking between meals.
- In addition to my yoga practice and hikes, I started taking barre, Pilates and dance classes at a studio in Victoria 3x/ week. All of which focus on toning the body with low impact, graceful movements.
- I began studying the lymphatic system in much more depth than ever before. Understanding the importance of it’s function to our wellbeing, I began doing regular self massage (Ayurvedic technique called Abyangha) and invested in a Bellicon rebounder (mini trampoline) and have been bouncing daily to move my lymph!
- I upped the ante with my pranayama practice, making it a non-negotiable part of my morning ritual. Regular pranayama has improved my digestion, metabolism and much more! Check out my youtube channel for pranayama tutorials!
As the result of these lifestyle changes, I feel calm, grounded and like everything is as it should be.
My skin and the whites of my eyes are glowing, something that many people comment on!
I’ve made leaps and bounds with healing my digestion! I’ve unclogged my liver, gallbladder, kidneys so I no longer have the dull achy liver and longstanding back pain. I’ve found a new freedom in my relationship with food as my blood sugar issues have resolved. I don’t have to snack all the time or worry about my blood sugar dropping. Moreover, I don’t feel round and bloated after every meal and finally, the sensation of hunger, something most of us take for granted has returned after 2 year absence! SO GRATEFUL!
The intense, life-disrupting reactions I was having to the multiple food and chemical sensitivities/ allergies is about 10% of what it used to be (serious miracle!!).
Oh yes, and the change that is perhaps the most noticeable from the outside is that I lost the puffiness that I now know was the result of my digestive and lymphatic systems being totally overwhelmed and congested.
While these changes seemed gradual for me, it may have seemed perhaps a bit dramatic for others, especially because I had moved away from all my friends and family. When I last visited home, I arrived feeling better, stronger and more empowered than I ever had. I felt reborn and confident in my new and improved body and deepened self-care practices.
However, yet again, my strength was tested. In the short time that I was in Toronto, I visited with most of my friends and family who, in their own way, inquired or commented on my physical changes While most of which in a positive light, after the 15th time explaining myself, my confidence began to waiver. I started to question myself…
Was I too lean? Was I too ‘ripped’? Did I go too far? There was a noticeable shift in my energy, perhaps because I momentarily feared regression. Losing weight for me in the past was due to my desperate love seeking efforts that included doing cocaine and/or laxatives… which is definitely NOT the case today.
Upon arriving back at home, these thoughts rumbled in my awareness for about a week before I realized how I was letting myself be too affected by what others think or say. I reaffirmed the strong trust that I have in my Self and acknowledged that this was simply another old pattern rearing its head up one last time on its way out.
Simply put, when we go through any sort of big change, it takes time to adjust and get a handle on our sense of self.
To shift out of this highly impressionable state, something Peter Sage calls G.O.O.P (good opinion of other people), I focused on how I felt and what I knew to be my personal truth. I was experiencing a heightened state of being, something I had never been able to tap into before and I FELT SO GOOD.
The fact of the matter is, I am healthier, happier, stronger, powerful and feeling more like myself than every before and I trust that over anything anyone says. However, I am grateful for these confronting experiences as they’ve helped me to further explore and solidify my sense of self.
Where I am at today, I am happy to share that I am 100% comfortable in my body and I love every inch of it, and not just because it’s fit and healthy. I’ve since navigated comments without losing the connection to my inner self and spiralling into self-doubt. I feel strong in the relationship with myself. I’ve finally passed the test and can move on to the next challenge. Whoohoo!
Now, like everything in life, the body is ever changing. The key to inner peace is to love yourself unconditionally. The depth of our love for ourselves is and always will be tested by changes like weight gain, injury and aging. In order to find to the inner peace and happiness we seek, our self-worth needs to remain independent of our body. Which was something I had been slowly working on combing apart over the years.
I know that these changes are simply a reflection of the internal work that I have done. I have developed a clear and strong connection with my TRUE self, my inner wellspring of guidance and power! Finally, my outer and inner worlds match and it’s the best feeling in the world! I am on the other side of all the frustration, fear and desperation.
I see this as a real accomplishment, perhaps my biggest yet…
While this post more covers the physical changes, the real magic has happened from the inside out.
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