In an assignment preparing me to write my dissertation for my Master’s degree, I had the opportunity to consider what experiences have shaped me the most and what questions have been left unanswered.
A particular area of interest to explore in my research is the concept of learning to parent ourselves as a means of meeting our own emotional needs, integrating trauma, breaking patterns of self-sabotage and lastly, finding relief from physical complaints. The process of learning how to listen and care for my Inner Child, inspired by the work of Susan Anderson (2011), has had such a profound and lasting impact on me. Over the years, I had both gathered and created a collection of self-care practices, exercises and transpersonal tools to present what I refer to as ‘the practice’. It was through this work that I have miraculously healed trauma-related symptoms such as hypervigilance, hypoglycemia, amenorrhea, burnout and numerous severe food sensitivities. (Karr-Morse, 2012).
At 2011’s Body and Beyond Conference, Dr. David Beales, addressed the self-care connection in his talk titled Body-mind as Healer or Destroyer of Spiritual Ease, Well-being and Health. He states that 50% of patients, throughout all specialties, who come in to see a physician, have no discernable pathology. This means there is no physical cause for their symptoms. However, Beales has found great success in his practice with self-regulation or to ‘parenting’ through the integration of mindfulness practices such as meditation and breathwork (Beales, 2011).
By stepping into the role of our Adult or Higher Self, we choose to be conscious of our thoughts, words and actions. From this place of heightened awareness we can learn to regulate our emotional state and the related physiological symptoms by taking responsibility and becoming our own coach. This is otherwise known as self-leadership.
My experience, both personally and professionally, has shown me that parenting the frightened child within is the single most powerful self-care practice. This is especially true for those with low self-esteem, from dysfunctional family systems and traumatic pasts. I strongly believe that the world would be a much more harmonious place if all beings learned how to give themselves what they may have missed in childhood.
Here is an excerpt from my mentoring client, Kristen (personal communication, October 22nd, 2016), who has begun rekindling the bond with her innermost self:
“I had such a special time connecting with Little Kris last night during abhyanga. As I was talking to her, I felt myself actually become her. As my mind talked, I was listening through my heart…I started seeing through her eyes. I could feel that she didn’t feel safe, because I have always been so hard on her. Always telling her that she wasn’t smart, pretty, thin, wealthy, cool, talented, or perfect enough. I told her that I have been wrong all along, that she is worthy of my love and acceptance unconditionally and I promise to be there for her no matter what. Although I know it will take time to earn her trust back, I could sense that she is open to forgiving me!”
As you can see, Kristen, like many of my other clients, is getting to know herself from the inside out using this powerful self-care tool. Healing our individual childhood wounds and integrating the long lost fragments of our Soul frees up a lot energetically, leaving us with more to enjoy life. Nurturing the relationship with the innermost part of ourselves precedes positive change and transformation in all aspects of our lives. This personal healing journey has a profoundly positive ripple effect into the collective unconscious. When we heal ourselves, we heal the world!
This practice is both a preventative tool and a powerful antidote for dis-ease; physical, mental or emotional. Learning to love ourselves goes FAR beyond, the basic self-care rituals.
If you’re looking to go deeper into learning about self-care and self-love guidance, sign up below for my free Love Letter emails. You need to learn to be kind to yourself as you find your way and I’m here to help you do just that: